2022 was the first year I was put on ADHD medication for schoolwork. I've swapped around medication names, doses and even dose times, but all of these adjustments weren't for the medications' effectiveness. Whether it was Ritalin or Adderall, it worked like magic. This medication changed my life, I went from C's and D's to straight A's. My adjustments weren't about optimization, no, they were for the side effects. The medicine started to take a toll on my physical health, boosting my resting heart rate up to levels bringing risk of bursting a blood vessel (Highest known: Ritalin ~ 240 bpm) (Time of writing: Adderall ~ 180 bpm). Even though my medicine has the potential to hospitalize me, I depend on it. I can't allow myself to fall back to C's and D's, even if that brings physical repercussions. My future is hinging on a 'pick your poison' thought experiment.
In my piece, my main element is all about the discomfort that comes from my medication. With a prescription pill bottle crashing through a skull as if it were shot from a cannon. While the obvious answer stands, of "Stop taking the medicine", my dependency on that same medicine prevents me from simply stopping. In order to convey this dependency, I replaced teeth with prescription pills to imply something as simple as eating would be near impossible without the help of my medication. |